A big hungry

after a looong time i had a big big hunger……………..

seriously i ate two full chicken rice today. And now im feeling gooood..

still i think im having some space for a biscuit pudding in my tiny tumy…

 

Keep ur HEAD up !!

Life isn’t fair sometimes…

i heard someone saying if you need something go for it and grab it. Well the problem is how you going to grab it when it is not even visible to you. So my theory is just pass it. ya its not easy as that, but whats the point of keep thinking about it all the day and missing everything that would do something better to you.

Everyone around us are selfish,  you might have experienced that kind of situations. Its hard to find someone who helps you without expecting something in return. Even parents expects!! 

  I’m going through a hard time. I really want to end this time and to have a little fun. But its not that easy. I want to change my environment completely that is the only way i see out of this hell hole.

Till that i need to keep up my head!!………………

Read the comments too……

http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/true-stories/true-stories-i-cheat-on-everyone

Dizzy

Im having a dizzy feeling, i have done so many things but the end of the day i find nothing. i feel like im alone within my own people.

I learned but found nothing
i loved but found nothing except sorrow
i tried and gave my max just for nothing
i prayed years and years………..
found emptiness all around.

but still im learning, loving, praying and crying…..
thinking something will come out….
even in my next birth…….

Seven Dreams!!

1. To buy a Panda CAR 

2. To Complete CIMA, and  work at MIT

3. To marry a Tall, Handsome Guy who really loves ME. Like i always wanted.

4. To dress a Kandyan saree at my wedding  and spend my honeymoon at Kanndalama hotel

5. To see my Son playing with my Appachchi

6. To see my Daughter getting advices from my Appachchi like i did when ever i get stuck with some stupid decision i tuk.

7. To get prepared my children s’ first birthday cake by  Loku Malli (Brother) since he is a good chef. and to see my Chooty Mallis’ complicated face after telling him to hold   my children when they are stubborn  since he doesn’t like kids much.

ya.. i know dreams are dreams … they have this implicit attribute not to execute as it is. But who cares im gonna try.

Had a new Guy……..

well after all they have decided to give me another back up resources, since i was the only person who was handling all five projects over the past year.

He is sensible person and helpful, and always telling me “Beauty Tips”. wel while i am going to my dorm, i keep thinking of them. well Today he told me that i looks like a 35 year old women, i got so panic and was shouting for the whole day. Office life becoming so fun after all.

Hide

Hide me
from the sun
from the moon
from the stars

Hide me
from the wind
from the light
from the cold

Promise me
i won’t blow
i won’t shade
i won’t DIE……………………………………

Incident

This incident happened when i was going elocution  class at the age of twelve or thirteen. I have not felt in this way about that incident at that time. But time passing i learned about the relationships and how its bound with the lives.

There was this mother who were always carrying her child to this class like my mother did and she seemed to be rude.

One day this girl came with her father to the class and i happened to noticed it since her mother used to come with her.

At the Interval this mother rushed in to the class and searched for her child. She ran to her at once and hugged her hardly. We were astonished.. including the teacher. That lady was breathing rapidly and crying.

Later she revealed that she could not come with the child since she was very ill early in the morning and the father decided to take over her. When she was listening to the radio a news has revealed about the bus accident at the same route that they were traveling,

so she got that weird feeling (i know this is not the word for mothers love)about her family and straight away she has ran to the class to see weather her child safe.

At that time i didn’t feel anything rather than a feeling “so whats the deal like”

But now i know how much those human relationships mean to us. How much my Appachchi and Amma mean to me. I learned to love and learned about those feelings after 22 years. Because of that i saw some blind sides of me.

I want to be a good mother one day!!

I see you!!

Watched Avatar film for the second time…… I thought i will never ever able to see that film again but i could not stand still while my friend near me watching it today at the office.

I have no other reason not to watch that film except you

It was one of the greatest time in my life that i have accounted in my memory (i still do have those tickets from the moment you told me to put them somewhere inside, i don’t know why i have kept them for all this time in my diary. May be my instinct would have felt that i will not have you in my life and would have warned me “Hey woman at least keep the tickets ” ). That day you were there beside me but i never expected that things would be like this, believe me i never ever expected that i will love you this much,

I see you!!! sad you cant see me…………

Even Avatar ended happily…….

By the way i have fallen in love with that Tattoo…….;)

Let me go!!

I came with you such a long way
I cant give up on you in this way
What if there’s nothing you can do anyway

I want you badly right here now

but i know you cant step out now

will i take my own step and go away?

only if you give the permission right away

I’m not fed up of loving you

but im fed up of everything around me

I’m tired of being unseen

though im  in the dilemma ….

Let me go

without your memory

Let me go

to the place where i cannot find you again and love u again…….